no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
