i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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