these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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