My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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