Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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