i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize