Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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