Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
we're so committed to being not committed
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
