Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
