Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
