Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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