And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize