I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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