Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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