She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize