how can u be prego again
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize