U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
