Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
