i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
