Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Randomize
