Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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