I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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