i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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