it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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