Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
