I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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