What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
