hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
