i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize