i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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