the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize