Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
