cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I understand Curling. That high.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
