Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
