The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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