Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
