It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
