i just wanna soil my oats bro
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
