we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
