Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
