you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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