I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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