Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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