I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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