all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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