what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
