So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
