Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
