Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
