very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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