why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
