that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
