Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
