Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
