you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
