he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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