He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
