And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
