a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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