Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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