My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
