4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
