So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
