i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
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