I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
