Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
