anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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