how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
