Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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