ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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