the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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