See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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