I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
