I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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