I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
there is puke in my bra ... again
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
