I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
