I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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